


Red Dwarf:  The case of the missing crew/cast member

by Darkchrisbarrieblood



Category: Chris Barrie - Fandom, Red Dwarf RPF
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Character gets Stabbed, F/M, Helping a fan in need, I-Cosplay Patron, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, References to Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-26 15:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3855673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchrisbarrieblood/pseuds/Darkchrisbarrieblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During recording series XI, Chris finds interest in an auditioner for a part. When something happens, can he do what he can to prevent her from being attacked?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a re-write. I also need help writing the beginnings to some parts

The rehearsal room was becoming too much for Chris. Several members of the floor crew sat in a corner of the room drinking coffee and discussing floor plans with Richard. Craig, Dan and Robert were busy posting about the series on Twitter, so, being left out, he decided to leave the room. He was tired, felt somewhat ill and being alone wasn’t helping him.   
Standing in the corridor, he took a deep breath and exhaled. He looked down the long corridor and, seeing no one, decided to try and remember his lines.   
After glancing studiously over his script a few times, Chris heard an unfamiliar noise. Looking up from his script, he saw Doug leading a group of teenage girls (aged around 17-18) through to one of the green rooms at the top of the corridor. He watched carefully as the girls walked all together, giggling and joking as typical girls would. Then, he saw one girl which he remembered vaguely. She looked over at him and gave a small smile. He smiled back, but then she returned to staring at the floor. He knew what they were doing here; they were here to audition for a new part in the series.  
  
Chris then remembered the event which he met her.

 _It had been a relatively good event; fans came and had pictures with him as usual. Even though he was slightly anxious of people, especially if they became too intrusive or too loud, he felt he was doing well.  As he had a short break from meeting fans, he glanced at the huge colourful crowd in front of him. He felt slightly nervous at the fact that there was a large number of people here all in one place, but he knew he was safe. After watching for a few minutes, he saw a person in dark blue coming towards him. He was a fair distance away from the crowd, so he couldn’t quite make out whether they were female or male. He managed to make out that they were female when they were about 3 meters away. As she came closer to his table, he noticed a group of three girls dressed in various colours coming towards her. At first, he thought they were her friends coming to join her, that was, until they began to attack her.  
 Chris watched as the girls got her down to the floor, punching and kicking her; laughing as they did so. The Steward beside him stood up and watched too. A crowd began to gather around the fight, some people egging them on to attack more even though they probably didn’t know her.  
The steward next to Chris then decided to go and break the fight up, along with two others. Once the crowd had been separated, he saw the victim. Her nose dripped with blood, her glasses were almost broken and she was whimpering quietly._ _A Steward brought her over to where Chris was, sat her down and went to get help. The other two Stewards went back over to their tables and kept an eye on the situation. Chris looked around him and wondered whether it would be strange if he went over to her? Did anyone care? Not caring, he walked over to her. She looked somewhat young for her age; he guessed she was around 17. She was shaking, crying and seemed to be clenching her hands tightly by the time he got there. He knelt beside her and watched her closely. He noticed her intakes of breath were sharp and quick and was worried she was having a panic attack.  
“Are you okay?” He asked, worried he would make her jump and make her worse.  
She glanced at him quickly, shivered and closed her eyes. “Yes thanks Chrissy.” She whispered.  
“I, erm, saw what happened to you. It was awful. I wish I could have helped.”  
The girl tensed a little, “Yeah, it was. Everyone could probably see but, as usual no one came to help me.”  
“Do they do that to you often?”  
The girl nodded, some blood still dripping from her nose even though she was pinching tighlyt, “All the time. They seem to have it in for me.”  
He sighed deeply, knowing how it felt. “Erm, how old are you if you don’t mind me asking?”  
“18. They’ve bullied me since primary school. Every time I tell schools that they bully me it still happens. Even if they move me away, they still bully me.”  
“Hmm.” He said, moving a little closer to her. He was beginning to feel protective over her for some reason.  
He then noticed that she had an I-Cosplay badge on her costume. It was one of the older designs.  
“You, erm, support I-Cosplay?”  
“Yes, because of you.” She blurted out, shaking even more as she regretted the comment.  
Realising she was a fan made him even more upset. He sighed and looked around him. Those girls were talking to each other on the balcony, looking as if they were laughing at the fight they had with her. He knew they were watching them so got closer to her; her hands were now almost covered in blood as it had completely saturated the tissue she was given.  
“Are you sure you will be okay?” He asked her, feeling slightly strange seeing so much blood,  
She inhaled deeply and nodded, gulping hard as she was becoming dehydrated,  
Chris then got up and looked around for some water to give her. As he found some, the medic came over to them.   
“Right, what do we have here?” He asked Nakila happily, trying to lighten her mood,  
Chris’ steward helped the medic take her into the side room; the place where costumes were usually repaired.   
“How was she?”_ _Chris’s Steward asked him when he came back,_  
“Alright I guess, she was bleeding a fair bit. Made me feel slightly ill.”  
“Hmm it was quite a bad fight.”  
“Yeah. I know. Never thought girls could fight like that. ”  
“You look after yourself okay. I’ve been told that you’re slightly haemophobic.”  
“Yes I am. I will be fine.”  
“Well, do you want to ask her when she’s been cleaned up about…”  
“Yes.”  
Seeing her and those three girls again meant only one thing; that she would need to be kept away from them.


	2. Chapter 2

“Whatcha having for lunch Chrissy?” Craig asked a very exhausted Chris as they got into the Café.  As they sat down at a group table, they all breathed a sigh of relief as they sat. Today had been very hectic, even though it was only the rehearsal week.   
“I don’t know yet. Whatever there is.” he said, yawning fairly loudly and stretching.  
“Well, you’re definitely going to eat _something.”_ Craig said strictly, giving him a stern look before walking off to the counter,  
“Yes sir. “Chris joked with him and gave him a salute.  
As Chris waited for Craig to return and saved him a seat, he began to wonder where the girls were now. He felt unsure, especially as he did not know them fully and didn’t want them asking questions if they saw anything. He felt anxious anyway as he had to learn the script and this was not helping.  
“Here you are guys!” Craig said, coming over with a tray of bags containing food the caterers prepared for them.  
As the boys all took their food they thanked Craig and gave him the money to pay for it.  
As Chris sat at a table with his sandwich, he watched the group of girls come into the cafeteria, led by one of the female floor crew. As she pointed to the area where they would sit (the so-called ‘guest seats’), they flooded in and all fought for a table for each of their friendship groups.  
The girl from the event sat down on her own at the side of the guest area. Her nose certainly looked better than before and seemed somewhat happier; smiling a little at least. But then the girls shouted something across the room which made her soon sad again. She put in headphones which matched her outfit; black jeans and jacket.  
“Who you looking at?” Craig asked, nudging him,  
“Just someone I met at an event last week.” Chris said and continued to watch her.  
It seemed that the girls jeering was getting too much for her and Chris recognised her feelings; scared and upset.  
“One sec.” Chris said and left the table. The others seemed confused, but left him to it.   
As he walked through the tables filled with the girls, he went to the table where the lone girl was sitting.    
“Hello.” he said and presented his hand to her.  
The girl glanced up and stopped her music. Seeming shocked she took his hand quickly and said, “Hi again,”. After shaking hands, he sat opposite her. ‘ _This is going to look really strange’  
_ “It’s nice to see you here. I’m grateful that you are here and look better.”  
“Yes me too.” She smiled and seemed shy, like she wanted to talk more but something was preventing her from doing so,   
“At least you aren’t bleeding this time.” Chris smiled, but too was very anxious. He glanced over at Craig and Dan who seemed to be watching the two of them.  
“Yes, well, not yet.”  
Chris looked puzzled, “oh?”  
“Well, those girls haven’t had a chance to talk to me yet. I bet as soon as you go they will come over and…”  
“Oh, right.” Chris sighed, and glanced over at them. They were whispering and looking on each other’s phones but glanced over at them briefly.  
“I,erm, haven’t asked your name, what is it?” Chris asked to help reduce the anxiety a little,  
“Nakila.” She said, still very nervous  
“Unusual isn’t it?” Chris said, hoping not to offend her,  
“Yes well...” She said, not finishing the sentence and glancing over at the girls. They were laughing with one another loudly, almost mocking Nakila for being on her own.  
“So, how did the audition go?” Chris asked, trying to keep her mind off the girls,   
“It went okay…” She said, looking at her phone briefly, “they didn’t attack me or anything but...”  
“Well, that’s good isn’t it. I’m sure you will do fine.”  
“Yes I hope so.” She smiled,  
As Chris got up, Nakila seemed worried, “Wait,” she said, trying to grab a hold of him  
Chris looked down at her and asked her what was wrong,  
“Can I come with you over there? I know you might say no but…”  
“Why?” Chris asked, but then looked to his left, the three girls were talking about Nakila, one of them seeming to be looking at her very suspiciously, almost as if she was trying to intimidate her,  
Chris nodded and walked back over to the table.  
Nakila followed quickly behind him.  
“Hey, Nakila? Where you going?” They jeered,  
She sat beside Chris and placed her head on the table,  
“Chris what you doing?” Craig asked,  
“Tell you later.” He whispered and watched the girls closely. They stared back at him and remembered the event. The girls soon stopped looking over and spoke to one another quietly  
Nakila sat closely to Chris and whispered “thanks Chrissy”  
“It’s alright, you okay now?” he asked her. She seemed to be slightly panicked.   
“I will be in a moment.” She replied slightly breathless,  
“You just breathe okay?” Chris said, recognising what was happening,   
Doug came over to the cast’s table. When he noticed Nakila, he came over to Chris,  
“What is she doing here?”  
“Doug, those three girls are bullying her and she is in the middle of an anxiety attack.” Chris said, placing hands on her shoulders to help her,  
“No excuse, she is still over here Chris. You need to take her back over there with the others.”  
“Doug, those ‘ _others’ bully_ her. If you just trusted me for one moment…”  
“No Chris, take her back.”  
Chris looked down at Nakila sadly and watched her hyperventilate, knowing how hard it was to calm down and it was getting worse,   
“Doug please…”  
“Chris, no.”  
“Why don’t you care about anyone but yourself!” Chris exploded,  
Everyone was staring at him now, including Nakila.  
“Alright, as soon as she’s alright, take her to her room.” Doug said,

“You going to be alright here?” Chris asked Nakila as she got to her door. She still seemed very pale and her legs seemed weak but the hyperventilation had stopped  
 “I’m sure. I’m sorry about what happened, I never meant to…you know….”  
“Oh don’t worry about that. I have them so I know what they are like.” Chris replied, surprised at himself that he admitted it to a complete stranger. He somewhat regretted saying it, but she seemed to understand.  
“Oh, right.” Nakila said, understanding him. As she found the key she had been given by the receptionist, she smiled slightly, “Thanks for, erm, being here.”  
“That’s alright,”  
There was a moment silence between them as Nakila unlocked her door.  
As she managed it, she smiled back at Chris, “Well, thanks. You best go and rehearse with the others.”  
“Yes, I better. Don’t want Doug or anyone thinking that something strange is happening between us..”  
“Yeah.”  
Their goodbyes were somewhat awkward. It seemed like both of them were worried about leaving the other.  
As Chris walked down the corridor, he glanced back over at Nakila’s room. She had gone in and the door had locked behind her.   
He began to wonder what had drawn him to her. He wasn’t in love with her or anything, he just felt like he had a duty to protect her.


	3. Chapter 3

As Chris woke and looked at his alarm clock, it read ’09:15 am’. Sighing, he got up out of bed and got on his dressing gown. He was meant to wake up at 8am and was now an hour late. After stretching a little, he realised he could smell something cooking.  
“Craig best be cooking something.” He said to himself and walked towards the door.  
He then remembered something and paused. He turned to his bedside table where medication was put, all what he needed to take. He groaned at the sight of it, but stuffed some in his pocket.   
‘I will take it later.’   
As he walked into the kitchen he found Craig, wearing his dressing gown and cooking.  
“Hey Chris.” Craig smiled, watching him briefly as he sat down at the table,  
“Why didn’t you wake me at 8 like I asked?!”  
“I didn’t think I needed to. Nothing major is happening today. Richard’s letting us rehearse on our own today so we don’t need to go down. Plus, you _were_ ill last night,”  
“It’s the auditions for the extra character today. Doug’s asked me to go and watch them this afternoon.”  
“That’s this afternoon. Not now. You needed your sleep after yesterday’s rehearsal.” Craig said, coming behind him and placing arms around his neck.   
Chris yawned and placed his head on Craig’s arm lovingly. He knew Craig was right in one sense, he did need to rest, but at the same time, he needed to tell Doug about those girls and how much they bullied Nakila. It hurt how much they bullied her and, knowing what Doug was like, Richard probably wouldn’t do much for her either.   
Craig went back over to the oven and turned it off, leaving the eggs to cool down before he served them on matching plates.  
He came back to Chris, sat beside him and lay his head on his shoulder. “Chrissy, if that girl’s bothering you, forget about her. She’s not going to affect your acting. She will be fine auditioning for the part on her own.”  
“But Craig, there’s something you don’t know about her.”  
“Oh? What like she’s your brother’s wife’s sister’s daughter or something?!” Craig said sarcastically.   
“No, not like that. I mean that those girls jeering her yesterday bully her severely. I’m worried that they will continue to if I don’t tell Doug about it. I mean I saw how she was when she was at the event. They beat her up so badly I’m amazed she’s still here.”  
“Well, if they do whilst Richard is there, he will deal with it. Trust me.”  
“Alright.” Chris said and sighed. He wanted to check on her, to see if she was okay but, knew Craig wouldn’t let him.

As they sat at the table eating breakfast, Craig realised how much he had missed him. It had been 4 years since they had done this together and Craig had missed him terribly. In the short time he had spent with him he knew that he needed more help than he let on. Craig had tried to maintain as much contact with Chris as he could, but even then he knew it wasn’t enough. Even though all of them had tried to involve him, it was hard to make him feel a part of them.    
He watched Chris as he ate, feeling glad that he was doing so. Aleks had expressed her concerns to Dan and Craig recently about Chris isolating himself from her and the children when they came over. They also rarely spoke at all when apart. For Craig and Dan, that meant that he was at risk of putting himself in danger. They remembered the last time he did that they spent a week with him on and off looking after him; feeding him and medicating him as he tried to starve himself.  
“So, how are you?” Craig asked, still thinking about what he could have done with him in their time away. He felt guilty in one sense; why couldn’t he have left shows and organised days with him like Dan did? Dan managed to have time to spend with him and, if he didn’t, he always called him. Craig played with the egg in front of him shyly, not knowing why he asked him that,   
“Fine.” Chris replied, somewhat tired, and placed his head in his hands,  
“You know, if you want to sleep then do Chrissy, no one’s going to kill you for it. I certainly won’t. I’ll just tell Doug that we had a long night last night.” Craig mentioned,  
“Craig, I said I’m _fine_. I just, need time to think about stuff right now.” Chris replied rather sternly and moved over to the sink to wash up,  
Craig sighed and watched him as he walked over to the sink. He remembered last night, they went down with Bob and Dan to the pub and drank most of the evening. Chris didn’t drink much and seemed to be getting very ill as the night progressed; his Tardive Dyskinesia seeming to be harder for him to control and making it hard for him to interact with them. Craig had looked over at him when he was struggling and eventually decided to take him back to the hotel; not wanting too many people to notice what was happening to him. On the way back, he picked up some medication from the chemist which Chris was supposed to get that morning, but conveniently forgot. When Chris had fallen asleep, he went back to the others which he now regretted. What if he had woken up and thought Craig had abandoned him?  
Craig tried to think of how best to help him. He knew he couldn’t entirely help him with his problems as most of them were mental, but there must be something he could do. Something must be able to be done to help Chris deal with this a lot better than what he was.   
He got up and stood beside Chris at the sink, watching him carefully. Craig knew there was something wrong with how he was acting; closed body language, glancing at his arms and deep in thought. His eyes looked like he hadn’t got enough sleep which worried Craig immensely.  
Chris noticed the sudden increase of attention he was getting from Craig and glanced over at him, “is something wrong Craig?”  
“No.” Craig replied defiantly, avoiding eye contact, ‘ _Shit he noticed.’_  
“So, why do you keep looking at me?”  
“I, I don’t know.” Craig stepped back. He didn’t want to say he was worried about him, as he knew it would make him more self-conscious, but a part of him wanted to tell him how much he was loved and how much everyone worried about him.   
“Well stop it. I’m already freaking out about this whole thing and you’re making me feel even more uneasy.”  
“Alright, I’ll stop.” Craig said, watching him less frequently. He wanted to say something to him, anything. He wanted to talk to him about their time away and wanted him to tell him how he felt. ‘ _Maybe later he will be open with me.’  
_ After Chris had washed and dried his own plate, he walked over to the window and glanced out of it. Craig noticed he often did this, not knowing the reason why.  
Craig sighed and washed up his own plate. He occasionally glanced over at Chris and wondered how he must be feeling right now. ‘ _Man what’s wrong with you? Why don’t you ever tell me anything?’_ Craig noticed the medication in Chris’ pocket. Chris had placed a hand in his pocket and too acknowledged it. He sat down with the box in his hand and sighed, ‘ _You have to take it Chrissy.’_  
Craig joined Chris on the sofa after drying and putting the plates in the cupboard. Chris glanced over at him with a somewhat sad and guilty expression as Craig came closer  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.” Chris replied and sighed, “It’s just, been a while since I last saw you,”  
“Yes, almost too long.”  
“Four years feels like forever.”  
“Yes.” Craig said, getting closer to him, “I tried to maintain contact with you but…”  
“Its fine Craig, really, you’ve, done enough.”  
Chris glanced over at Craig and took the medication out his pocket.  
“You need it Chrissy.”  
“I know but…”  
“Chrissy.” Craig said, being strict with him, “I don’t want you getting worse. I also don’t want you overdosing on it.”  
“I promise I won’t OD, but, I don’t want to.”  
“Why not?”  
“I, I don’t know. I just don’t want to take this anymore. I feel I’m over that stuff now.”  
“Well, according to Aleks you’re getting worse. She’s noticed you’re becoming secluded again and not eating right. She’s worried about you so much.”  
“I’m fine.” He said, with a not fine look; Craig recognised it all too well  
“Then take it. If you’re totally fine, then take it and then go to the doctors and get checked out.” Craig said, almost too sternly and almost too loud.  
“Fine, to keep you happy, I will.” Chris said and walked off.  
“Its not for me Chrissy, its for you!” Craig shouted as Chris left,   
Craig sighed deeply. Sometimes he regretted making friends with him and having to look after him most the time. He knew they were adults now but sometimes, Chris became almost childlike in his ways; lying and keeping himself secret from everyone else. True, he kind of needed Chris when he got into trouble and he had paid off some debts for him in the past, but apart from that, they hardly had anything in common. Craig smoked and DJ-ed, Chris was into cars and didn’t really do much.   
Chris came back after a while, he still seemed drowsy but somewhat happier than earlier,  
“Took it?” Craig asked him with a suspicious look,   
Chris nodded and walked to the bathroom to get ready  
“Well, you get ready first, I will get our scripts ‘n’ that ready.”  
“Okay.” Chris said and showered.


	4. Chapter 4

“Wow, the set designers have done well haven’t they guys?” Craig exclaimed as they got into the studio. The rehearsal yesterday had been enough so Richard must have decided to let them begin rehearsing it on their own (to some extent).  
“Well guys, the costume department will need you to go and try on costumes and light them so we don’t have to alter them during the recordings.” Richard said to the cast and then walked to the group of set designers in the other corner of the room.  
Craig continued to watch Chris, even though others could see him too. He seemed somewhat tired, as usual, but seemed to still look ill. He wasn’t sure what the medication was for and its affect but he hadn’t changed much from this morning. Craig wasn’t about to ask him about it now, especially as few knew about his medication.  
“Hey Chrissy.” Dan said to him, hugging fairly tightly,  
“hey Dan.” Chris said, smiling slightly at the hug  
“How you been?” Dan asked,  
Craig didn’t bother listening to the rest of their conversation as he knew those two would only discuss the times they had together during the four years they had been away. He knew they had been somewhere together recently which made him feel mildly jealous.  
As Craig read over his lines to himself, he continued to try and think of a way to help Chris. It seemed social situations weren’t his strongest at the moment. Maybe have a quiet night with him inside with no alcohol? He could try that tonight maybe?  
Dan then came over to Craig as Chris and Robert went over a sequence together. They seemed alright with each other.  
“Hey.”  
“Hey Dan, was he alright?”  
“Yeah fine, just discussed what we did Thursday. He was okay. Seems alright with me. How was he this morning with you?”  
“He seemed a little down this morning. He didn’t want to take his medication but he’s took it now.”  
“Oh, right.”  
“Yeah. Wasn’t sure what to do but he’s taken it now though.”  
“Right. Well I hope so. He can’t miss taking it as it could damage him.” Dan said and the two of them watched Chris closely. They noticed he seemed to be acting up a little as if he was aware that they were watching him. He was portraying seriousness as well as being slightly nervous.   
“I think he’s acting up a bit.”  
“What you mean?”  
“Well, he seems to be hiding a lot from us recently.”  
“Hmm yeah. When we went out he hid a lot from me then…”  
“Hmm”  
“Anyway, how was he when you got him back?”  
“Alright. He said he felt ill and so I put him into bed, afterwards he just went completely out. I didn’t stay as he was safe and asleep so...”  
“ You came back?”  
“Yeah.” Craig said, sighing a little, glancing over at him as he changed into character.

The costume designers then came into the studio and asked for the main cast to try on their costumes. Instead of going individually, they all decided to go together as they always got on really well.   
As they walked over to the costume hut, Chris seemed somewhat nervous about the whole thing.   
“What you scared of Chrissy? We’re all friends here!” Dan said, trying to lighten the mood a little. It made Chris feel worse although he smiled to hide it.  
It then dawned on Craig and Dan what the reason could possibly be.  
“Don’t say anything.” Craig whispered to Dan as they split. Dan nodded and walked off to his area.  
As the costume designers came over to them, Craig tried to watch Chris through his rail of costumes. Although he couldn’t see him fully, he noticed that Chris seemed somewhat scared of this whole thing and didn’t want any of the costume staff mocking him.   
As Craig put his costume on, which was slightly baggy now he lost some weight, he heard parts of Chris’ conversation,  
“No its fine, I’m going to wear something underneath anyway.”  
“Are you sure? What about the heat? You could overheat.” Said the female firmly.  
“I will be fine. Seriously. ”  
“Why not just cooperate for once? Why do you have to be different from everyone else?”  
‘ _No. Don’t argue with him.’_ Craig thought in his head. Arguments were another thing which Chris couldn’t handle well, especially the way he was.  
Craig and Dan managed eye contact with each other and looked worried,  
“Is he alright?” Danny mouthed to Craig as the costume fitter pinned his trouser legs to ensure they fitted snuggly    
Craig simply shrugged and tried to look at the situation besides him, unable to see or hear Chris anymore. Then, a door closed hard.  
“Who went out?” Michael asked the group,    
Chris’ designer came out of her area, “Chris did. He just walked out on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but he wouldn’t take anything off.”  
There was a slight snigger at how wrong that sounded, but then, Michael turned to Craig, Dan and Bob.  
“Anyone want to go and find out what’s wrong or we just going to leave him?”  
“I will go.” Craig said, “My costumes are ready right?”  
Craig’s designer agreed.  
“Alright, but be quick, make-up tests are needed soon.”


	5. Chapter 5

As Craig got out into the carpark and breathed the air, he knew two places where Chris would go. One place would be his hotel room, but considering he was going in the opposite direction to that building, this was highly unlikely. The second place was in the bike shed which the smokers used to smoke. It was a mystery why he always went there when trying to calm down as he never smoked. Maybe it was because of where he and Chris first met?  
When Craig got to the bike shed, he found Chris sitting in the corner on the floor, making himself very small. It was obvious he didn’t feel right anymore.  
“You okay?” Craig asked, worried, watching him closely  
Chris looked up at the man in front of him and sighed “Oh, they sent _you_ to come for me.”  
“Well, are you okay?” Craig asked again and sat next to him, placing an arm around him,  
“What do you think?” Chris replied, almost too harshly and pushing the arm away  
Craig stepped back, “I don’t think you are. You had an argument with her.”  
“And?” He said, very much like Rimmer,  
“Well why leave?”  
“I hate arguments, you know that.”  
“I know that. But I have a feeling that’s not the only reason why you wouldn’t let her touch you.”  
Chris sighed, “Why can’t you just trust what I’m saying? I just didn’t want her touching me. Isn’t that a good enough reason? Why do you care anyway,”  
“Because,” Craig said, getting closer to him, “People are worrying about you? Aleks said that,”  
“What does she know about me?” Chris said in a rather low tone. There had obviously been something negative between them,   
“Well, I don’t know but she seems to think there’s something wrong with you.”  
“Well there isn’t.”  
Craig knew he was lying, the way he was squirming under the pressure. The way he was holding himself across his stomach made Craig realise partially what he might have done.  
“Well, that’s bullshit then, isn’t it?” Craig replied, perhaps too harshly,   
“No.”  
“Chrissy, the only reason I can come up with for why you don’t want to show her anything is because you’ve…”  
“Don’t say it.” Chris said, sighing defeated,   
“Is it right?”  
“Yes okay, yes. I just, don’t want her asking questions about it if she sees anything.”  
“I know.”  
Chris put his head against the plastic of the shed, “I just wanted to come back for company. I wanted all of us to be together again. I’ve just felt so alone these past few weeks.”  
“I know the reasons why, but, why won’t you let us help you? Aleks says she’s tried to help but all you seem to do is…”  
“…push her away, I know. Well, she doesn’t get me either. When I try to explain, she dismisses me. She just said that I am attention seeking and trying to get out of doing things around the house. And then she says that it’s because of our ‘special conditions’ we have.”  
“Help her? Show her pages on the internet explaining what’s wrong?”  
“Its not that easy.” Chris got up, “It’s really not.”  
“I know.” Craig sighed and placed a hand on his back, he seemed very warm in this cold weather  
As the two of them stood under the shed, Craig they began to think about the things they’d missed about each other. When it was Chris’ last recording of series 7, both of them had come here together, to be together and to, well, to have a _friendly talk._  
Craig glanced over at the sad Chris in front of him. He wanted to make him feel happy like that time. True, maybe he couldn't do everything they did back then, but just to make him happy for once.   
As he held Chris’ hand, he was expecting him to push him away, but instead he held it tighter.  
They looked out at all the parked cars and wondered what was going to happen.   
“When we get back to the hotel, will you show me?” Craig asked,   
“Show you what?”  
“You know what.”  
Chris gave him a suspicious look, and then realised what he meant, “Okay, but they aren’t really that bad. They were done...”  
They heard a slamming door and a name shouted across the air.  
Then, Chris suddenly let go of Craig’s hand and walked somewhere, Craig followed.  
“Nakila?” Chris shouted,  
“Who?” Craig asked,  
As they walked over to the far end of the carpark, they found Nakila sitting on a wall, seeming upset,  
“Nakila? You okay?”  
Nakila turned around and looked at them, seeming surprised they were here   
“Chrissy? What are you doing here? Aren’t you guys rehearsing today?”  
“I might ask the same question. What you doing out here?”  
Nakila sighed, clenching her left arm nervously, “I ran away from the audition, the girls have bullied me again. And I just can’t take it.”  
“Again?”  
“Yeah. All of them did this time. Jeered and jokes about me and you.  Doug did nothing to help and dismissed it.”  
“Really?”  
“Would I lie about this Chrissy? You know what they did to me at that event. ”  
“I know...” Chris said, watching her as she became more nervous, holding her arm more tightly.   
Nakila looked at Chris and Craig together and smiled slightly,  
“Where you going to go now?”  
Nakila seemed happier, “Well, back in there but I know I will be grilled for being out here.”  
“Don’t worry, I will explain tonight why you were out here. You have auditioned for him right?”  
“Yes I have.”  
“Well, go back in there and i will explain to him this afternoon what they do to you.”  
“Thanks Chrissy.” Nakila said and jumped down from the wall. After hugging him tightly, she ran back to the building where the others were.  
“What was that for?”  
“Beats me.” Chris replied, “I guess it’s a thank you for not having a go at her.”  
“Well, we need to go back into the makeup room, we need our colours taking again.”  
“Alright.”  
“And if they ask to try costumes and they see your cuts or whatever, just don’t tell them.”  
“Okay.” Chris said and smiled partially.

After having their costumes fitted and colours tested, the cast all decided to go back to the green room to go over their lines. The floor staff had said that all of the sets were not ready and the cast rehearsing in there would just make it harder. As they all sat around a large table and read their scripts, Craig continued to glance over at Chris opposite him. He seemed to be deep in thought, thinking about the episode hopefully. He was so worried about him.   
Then, Doug entered the room,   
“Alright boys?” He said to the four of them,  
They all said ‘Yes’, even though one of them was definitely lying.   
“Good, glad. Richard’s doing a good job I take it?”  
“Yeah, gets it from his father.” Chris commented. The others looked over at him, somewhat surprised at the positive comment.  
“Thank you. Erm, Chris I need to speak with you a minute.” he said,  
Chris got up almost too quickly and followed Doug outside.   
  
After 10 minutes of waiting, Richard dismissed the cast. Chris was still outside with Doug.   
Craig got out of the room and looked over at the two of them. They seemed to be deep conversation, Chris using gestures to express how he felt, as usual.   
Craig watched them a little, trying to get eye contact with Chris. Not succeeding, he had to wait until they had finished.   
After the conversation, Doug limped down the corridor towards the post production area and Chris walked towards Craig.  
“What was it about?”  
“Tonight. Doug wants me to announce the results of the audition at the party tonight.”  
“Oh that’s good.”  
Chris then seemed nervous, “I erm, told him about the bullying Nakila has received and he said that he’ll talk to her and make them re-audition.”  
“That’s good right?”  
“Well, I guess so, but there’s another thing,”  
“What?”  
“If its Nakila with the new part, she may still get attacked. I don’t know when but I just feel it. I’m worried about her Craig.”  
“She will be okay. She’s protected here. And when she goes home I’m sure people there will also protect her.” Craig replied and they hugged. They hugged for around five minutes before Richard called them back into the studio to rehearse again.


	6. Chapter 6

Chris had been acting very and protective ever since he got back to the hotel room with Craig. Craig assumed it was because of the thing he had asked him to do.  
Craig sighed as he noticed Chris hold the bottom of his jumper nervously before taking it off.  
“Chrissy, show me them please. I won’t judge you.”  
Chris sighed and took off the jumper. He’d seemed to have lost some weight since they last met which was worrying.   
Chris seemed very nervous and sighed, “You promise?”  
“Yes.” Craig said, wanting to see what he had done,   
As Chris lifted up the polo shirt he had on, two rather thin and long scars went across his stomach. It looked as though he had done it with a very thin knife.   
“Those?”  
“Did them like a week ago.” he said, replacing the shirt. “I never meant to but,”  
“Its okay. She wouldn’t have noticed those and if she did, they aren’t that bad? If she did, you could just say it was from the dog?”  
“Well, erm, I guess I could but.. And there some on my arms too…” Chris said, showing his arms  
Craig saw the odd one or two there, but only because he was looking for them.   
“They aren’t that bad, seriously, no one will see them unless they look for them.”  
“They were deep. Done them like, a while ago.”  
“Well, if make up finds them and they become obvious, they’ll cover them up with foundation or something. Don’t worry.”  
“But I _do_ worry though. What if they ask questions about them?”  
They hugged again, Craig holding Chris close as if to say ‘I’m here’.   
“So, we need to go down soon right?” Craig said, still hugging Chris and mildly nestling into his chest.  
“Yeah. Doug says they will have a final word with whoever it is before they actually put her onto the cast list.”  
“Oh right.” Craig said, resting his head on Chris’ chest. It was very warm and comfy; how he remembered it was.   
“Yeah. Well, i just hope Nakila gets through, she deserves it.”  
“I guess she does. Anyway we best get ready.”  
“Yeah. Don’t want to be late, especially not tonight.”

Chris and Craig went down to the hotel party room where Doug and some floor staff were waiting.   
“Hey Doug, Dick.” Craig said, twiddling an unlit cigarette in his hands.  
Richard smiled at craig (he didn’t like being called Dick but he found it amusing) and they both said hi. All of them were in tuxedos, which they all seemed to suit.   
“Well, Chris, we all can’t wait to see who has been chosen for the part of the new character.” Richard said happily,  
“Me neither.”Chris replied, smiling at him,   
“I erm, hope whoever it is will be good at playing the part.” Doug said, giving him a glance.  
“Yes me too.”  
As they parted, Craig went outside and smoked, Chris followed, holding a drink in his hand.  
“Well, you think it's gonna be Nakila?”  
“I hope so. From what I heard from Richard and Doug earlier she delivers quite well.”  
“Yeah but, you know, what if she doesn’t get it?”  
“Well, I will ask for her to keep in contact with me. After all she is a fan.”  
“Yeah well, just, don’t get too weird or let anyone think anything bad of this.” Craig said, concerned about how involved he was getting. The last time he had trusted a woman this much, she took advantage of him and, well, things got difficult for Chris to cope with.   
“I won’t. I promise you.”  
“Good.” Craig said and looked at Chris. He seemed so cute in his dickie bow and suit. Part of him remembered the stag night they had together and he smiled shyly. It was certainly eye-opening, especially because they were found rather awkwardly by Danny and Robert. He hoped nothing would happen tonight, especially as tomorrow they were expected to be rehearsing.  
“Want to go back in in a bit? Doug seems about ready.” Chris asked, opening the fire exit with his free hand,  
“Yeah, alright. I will have to set up soon anyway.”  
“Alright. I will go and medicate then.” Chris said, allowing Craig through the door first. As Chris shut the door behind them, he watched Chris go upstairs to his room.   
  
The party was in full swing. Craig DJ-ed and took suggestions from the group of three girls. They came down reasonably early, probably to impress Doug and Richard. The songs they chose were fairly modern. Nakila came down reasonably late with the crew member looking after them; Dianne.  
She came over to Chris who was sitting near the stage along with Doug and Richard.  
“Hey Chris. Just brought Nakila down. She was a bit nervous and I found her on the stair seeming to be panicking.”  
“How is she now?” He said, looking for her in the crowd of girls.  
“Alright.” She sighed,  
Nakila was sitting on her own on the corner of the floor, seeming to be upset. The group of three girls kept looking over at her and smiling.   
“Want me to bring her here a moment?” Dianne asked,   
“Yeah, just check she’s okay.”  
As Dianne left, Doug and Richard looked at Chris. He hoped that Doug wouldn’t change the finalists at the last minute.  
Dianne came back over with Nakila who seemed to be somewhat nervous.  
“You okay?” Chris asked, examining her body language  
Nakila sighed, holding her phone close to her, “Yes I guess so.”  
“Nervous about those?”  
“Yes.”   
“They can’t do anything to you right now. They’re in public and well, there are a load of people to prevent fights trust me.”  
Nakila smiled and seemed happier for a moment, “Can’t I stay near here?”  
“No you cant.” Doug said, standing up,   
“Why not sir?”  
“Well, it is not right of you to sit here. You need to go with the others.”  
Nakila left sharpish, almost running away from Doug.   
  
As the night went on, Chris began to get progressively worried about Nakila. She had hardly eaten and didn’t dance at all; sat on the side watching everyone else.  He hoped Doug’s comment hadn’t upset her too much.  
When the time came to read out the results, the girls had begun to bully Nakila, probably to make her leave the room when Chris read out the results.  
As Chris introduced the results, all of the auditioners sat on chairs in front of the stage. He examined the crowd infront of him as he spoke about the episode, noticing the three girls giggling to one another. He couldn’t see Nakila at first, but found her near the back, looking down at the floor.    
“Now, these results are the people who have the most chance of getting the part, however, there will be another audition tomorrow to decide the winner, or winners.” Chris said, sighing internally, ‘ _I just hope those three don’t get it.’_  
As Doug gave Chris the envelope, he whispered to him “I’m bringing you to the new auditions tomorrow.”  
Chris smiled at him and nodded. As he opened it, he hoped that Nakila would get the part. All the bullying would stop and she would get the part she needed.  
As he read the names out, he felt a mixture of happiness and sadness,  
“It seems Nakila, Rebecca, Beth, Caprice are the top so far but it could change tomorrow as a final audition will be done to see who will get the part.”  
He noticed the girls looking over at Nakila spitefully, probably jeering her and making fun. . Chris wanted to distract them but couldn’t.   
As Chris got down from the stage, he was met with Doug and Richard.  
“I’m allowing you to come to the auditions to read out a part and identify the chemistry you have with the new character. Although, from the looks of it, you may have chosen yourself.” Doug said, giving Chris a look which said ‘I know what’s been going on’.  
“Alright.” Chris replied, smiling as Doug left and then sighed,   
He knew as soon as he went with Nakila, those girls would claim something was happening between them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning; Contains description of violence and suspected suicide

Craig woke up in his hotel room alone with a headache. He heard Chris leave at about 8 o’clock to go down to the auditions. Getting out of bed painfully, he examined himself in the mirror. He still looked okay, older but okay. As he put his dressing gown around him and walked around the living room, he remembered about Chris and medication, remembering he wasn’t here. He decided to check in his room to see if he had taken any, just out of curiosity.  
Whilst he wasn’t calling him a liar, he did have a habit recently to lie to people.  
As he walked in and turned on the light, he found the room was reasonably clean. He walked over to the bedside table to the medicine boxes there. As he opened them, he realised that none had been taken at all. As he checked in his pocket in his dressing gown, he realised that he hadn’t taken any then either. He’d been lying to him this whole time.   
“Oh Chrissy. Why?” He sighed and put the boxes back on Chris’ table. He wasn’t angry with him, he was scared. What could happen to him now he hadn’t taken any medication?He checked the time, 10:10. He needed to get dressed and down to rehearsals but he was worried about Chris.

Chris was with Doug, tired from the party last night and worrying about how Nakila was. When he went to check on her, she was alright and excited, but if those girls got to her, she would most likely be depressed again. Before she left the hall, she was happy as Chris spoke to her.  
He sighed and glanced down at the script in his hand. Craig was probably wondering where he was, especially as he left with no goodbye.  
Chris sat and the table and tapped his pen on the table impatiently.   
“So, todays the day huh? When we choose the new character?”  
“Yes. And you have asked me to help how?” Chris asked   
“Just feed the line through. I want to see if they remember the line or whether they have to look at the line. It will also see if they actually care.”  
“Right.” Chris sighed, not wanting to be here.

While he sat waiting for the audition to start he noticed his legs were shaking. He sighed: the stressful events during the last few days had worsened his TD. It made his legs jiggle and caused him to make uncontrollable grimaces with his face. When he was relaxed he could keep it under control but when he was upset, stressed or tired the involuntary movements could take over. He desperately hoped he could at least keep control of his face during the official recordings. He didn’t have to worry about his legs, thankfully. Rimmer had been written to have a nervous tick: jiggling legs. That was one of the few times he was happy Doug had used parts of his life as a “Rimmer” characteristic. He shook his head: no time to think about his problems now. He had to focus on the auditions. With another deep sigh he leant forwards to minimise the extent to which his legs shook and re focussed on the script. For some reason the words in front of him just would not register.

After several girls had come in, whereby Chris had recited the same like 5 times by now (and could now say it without the paper), it was Nakila’s time.   
“Well, we gave Nakila this time to come down. If she’s interested, she will come.” Doug said as he got himself some coffee.   
Chris became more nervous as they waited longer for Nakila to attend. It had been 10 minutes since the time they had given her to come down.   
“Well, she isn’t here.”  
“Just, give her time, please.” Chris said, anxious that she would attend. ‘ _Come on. You’ve got to come now. Don’t chicken out now.’_  
Chris desperately wanted to go and check on her, but he knew it would look suspicious.  
After five more minutes of waiting, someone came into the room, followed by two others.   
“Oh, Rebecca, Beth and Caprice, how nice to see you.” Doug smiled,  
“Are we too early?” Rebecca asked sarcastically, trying to be cute. It was obvious she knew she was earlier than her appointment time,  
“Well yes, Nakila was meant to be here.” Doug replied, checking his clipboard of times,   
Chris then realised that something was wrong.   
“Speaking of which, where _is_ Nakila?” Chris questioned, surprisingly keeping his anger controlled and turned into Rimmer slightly.  ‘ _If you’ve hurt her, I swear…’_  
“Oh, well, I think she was pretty caught up in something when we left her last. We tried knocking on her door but she said she was just too busy.” Rebecca said, giving a small laugh which to Chris seemed evil,  
“Oh right.” Chris said, worrying more about her. Their comment gave the indication that they had bullied her into something.  Chris tried not to think about what had happened to Nakila and focus on his job.  
“Well, we best carry on. Can’t keep waiting forever,” Doug said,  


As Chris read the line, trying to stay in character as much as possible, he realised how bad this was.  He didn’t want to do this; it was like talking with the devil. He felt tense and awkward, which he hoped wasn’t showing. Doug wrote something down on a clipboard next to the girls’ names. Then, a person from the make-up department came in and asked if Chris could go with her for makeup tests.   
Confused, Chris left the room and followed her. When he got into the corridor he was met with a rather distressed Dianne and then make up person raced back to her department.   
“Dianne what’s…?” Chris began to ask, noticing she was very flustered and holding her phone in her hand tightly so much she was shaking,   
“You need to come, with me, now. Have your phone with you?” She asked, still shaking,  
Chris nodded and followed Dianne down the corridor and up a flight of stairs until they reached the 2nd floor. Chris recognised where they were going and instantly became worried. ‘ _This is near where Nakila’s staying. What’s happened down here?’_  
As they got nearer to Nakila’s room, Chris noticed the door was wide open. Nothing was obviously wrong, but something about this whole thing made him feel uneasy. They both walked into the room; Chris hoping that his gut instinct was wrong.  
“Why are we here?” Chris asked looking around him scared for what he might find, he saw an older lady nearby, seeming somewhat upset; another woman was comforting her,  
“I got you because…well…” Dianne said, leading him to the small kitchenette,   
She pointed to the bloody body on the floor. It was Nakila’s.  
Chris gasped and examined her, her arms had been cut down the middle on both sides, her eyes were blood shot and closed, her nose was bleeding and her breathing was shallow from what he could tell. It was hard for Chris to think that just a few hours ago, she was a happy, cheerful girl and alive.   
“Oh...” Chris said, feeling a little ill at the amount of blood and injuries. He leant over the kitchen surfaces and looked at her  
“Yes. Your picture with her was on her person, as well as this,” she said and held Nakila’s left wrist up so Chris could see it.  His name was etched into her arm, not cut like the other wounds were. It seemed like they tried to make it cut her wrist veins but didn’t manage it.   
“Oh man.” Chris sighed, knowing exactly who did this.  He knew something would happen to her if she was left alone. He looked at the picture; the back of it covered in her blood as she had been holding it close to her during the attack.   
“I called an ambulance already, I just thought you’d want to see her before she was taken to hospital.”    
Chris felt himself become very pale and unsteady. “Well, thanks.”   
“You okay?” Dianne asked, noticing Chris’ change in colour,   
Chris shook his head; haemophobia making his hearing go a little funny. He couldn’t stop seeing the blood, even when he closed his eyes.  
“Why don’t you leave and go and join rehearsals? I can look after Nakila until the ambulance arrives.”  
“No, I…I want to...” Chris said, trying to get near her to prevent her bleeding out, ‘ _I must help her.’_  
“Chris, you can’t stay here…"  
“I want to…”  
“Chris no. You don’t look right.”  
Chris sighed and realised that soon he would pass out. He moved himself away from Nakila and lay on the floor, looking at the celling; breathing deeply. He wondered how long Nakila had been here, in pain, wanting to shout out for help but being unable to.  
‘ _She did not do this to herself...’_ Chris thought, trying to keep himself awake.   
The paramedics came fairly quickly after being called. Chris continued to keep himself awake. One paramedic came over to him to talk to him but he very soon blacked out.


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as Craig had heard about Nakila and the fact that Chris had passed out, he raced up to their room. When he got there, he found Chris looking out the window, holding a glass of water in his hand. Evidence that Chris had been sleeping was visible as his jacket he was wearing before was on the floor. Craig quietly closed the door behind him and walked to him,   
“Hey Chrissy.” he said calmly, placing a hand on his shoulder   
“Hi.”Chris said, looking outside to watch the ambulance drive away.  
Craig didn’t know what to do in this situation. What could they talk about at a time like this?   
“Erm, I heard about what happened to Nakila. It’s bad huh? ”  
“Yes it is.”  
Craig got closer to him, noticing he hadn’t moved and continued to stare out the window,  
“I, erm, heard you passed out up there as well. ”  
“Yeah. I did.” Chris said seeming embarrassed at the fact he did.  
“You,erm, feel alright now?”   
“I guess so.”  
Craig didn’t see any point in continuing the conversation. He knew Chris didn’t feel like talking and it would probably make him feel worse.  
As Craig rolled up a cigarette, he noticed that Chris was holding something tightly in his hand. It seemed very small, but he could guess what it was. The most probable item he was holding was the badge he was given by an anti-bullying organisation, I-cosplay. When he heard it was starting, Chris seemed very determined to join, but also very anxious too.  
At first, Craig wondered why Chris was holding it, but then realised what he was thinking ‘ _Now he’s blaming himself for what happened.’_  
“Look, Chris, it’s not your fault.” Craig said, putting the cigarette behind his ear,   
“It is…” Chris sighed, looking at the floor,  
“How?”  
“If I hadn’t had asked her to audition for the part, she wouldn’t have been here and got attacked by those girls. It’s because of _my_ actions that she’s now fighting for her life.”  
“It’s still not your fault. You didn’t know what those girls were capable of.”  
“But I should have. I should’ve told Doug about them the moment they got here.”  
“When was the attack?” Craig asked, confused as to when the girls actually attacked her,   
“My last event.”  
“That was weeks ago. You weren’t to know they were to attack her again!”  
“But she was beaten up badly. I should’ve known because, well, that wasn’t a normal attack. The way they punched her and kicked her…I should’ve known they’d do it again.”  
Craig tried to hug him, but he resisted,  
“Its all my fault, I should never have made it obvious to those girls otherwise they wouldn’t be here.”  
“I should have. Doug never listens to me anyway ‘n’ he let that bullying happen to her. If I hadn’t made it obvious, those girls wouldn’t have auditioned too.”  
Craig was unsure what to say to him and simply watched as he lay on the sofa and sighed, badge still in hand. He hadn’t opened his hand to look at it in a while, which worried Craig.   
“You want to go see her huh?” Craig asked, hoping his assumption was correct. As he sat next to him, he tried to see what was in his hand and whether it was okay. His grip was really tight.  
Chris nodded, holding his hand closer to him.    
“Why don’t we go and see her tomorrow once she’s been cleaned up?”  
Chris sighed, “I don’t want to be first there. I mean, her parents need to see her first…”  
“Alright then. Tomorrow afternoon we will go together.”  
Craig examined Chris closer. His grip had tightened in the past few minutes. Whatever he was holding, he was holding it too tight.   
“Chrissy.” Craig said, trying to get Chris’ attention from Nakila situation and onto himself,  
“What?” he asked, noticing Craig was looking at his hand,    
“Let go of it.”  
“No.” Chris said, tightening his grip,  
“Chris I mean it. Let go.” Craig said, realising what he was doing,   
Chris reluctantly let go, revealing blood on his hand from a deep circular wound he had produced,  
“Chrissy.”Craig sighed,   
“Im sorry alright.” He said, looking at his hand, his wound was bleeding badly.  
Craig glanced over at his hand, “Come on, lets clean you up.”  
Chris stared at his hand, shaking a little, seeming to be having an ‘episode’ of anger and depression,  
Craig lead Chris to the bathroom and cleaned his hand up under hot water   
As he cleaned Chris’ hand, Craig realised he seemed very tired and worried,   
“Chrissy, you got to stop worrying about her. It’s not good for you. ”  
“I can’t.” He sighed, wincing as the water got too hot,  
“You can. She is not your concern.”  
“No. I don’t want to stop thinking about it. It’s my fault.I should be punished for it.”   
“Chrissy, please stop this.” Craig said, watching him closely. He seemed to enjoy the blood and pain flowing into the sink too much.   
Craig reached for a first aid kit and felt around for a bandage. Feeling one, he took it out.   
“Sit.” Craig said, sitting him on a stool beside the sink.  
Chris reluctantly sat, examining his wound closely. As Craig bandaged it, Chris began to get drowsy.  
“You need sleep Chrissy. You’ll burn out again and we have rehearsals again tomorrow.”  
“No, I’m fine.”  
“No. Chrissy, I’m not having this, sleep will help you heal.”   
Chris sighed, knowing it was the best thing for him,

*************

Chris had somehow managed to drive himself to the hospital, even with his injury.   
He guessed, from experience, that Nakila would have been put into ICU. As he went into the ward, he found the sister and asked for Nakila.  
“I’m sorry sir, no one of that name is here.” She said, checking the computer.   
“Hmm.” Chris said, knowing she’d be here. He then remembered her alterative name he saw she used. As he said it, she found the record.   
“Aah yes, we have someone of that name. Can I ask who you are to her?”  
“I’m a friend, well, I’m hopefully going to be working with her.”  
“Oh alright. Name?”  
As he introduced himself, she wrote it down.   
“Well erm, Chris, she isn’t awake right now.”   
“But is she okay?” Chris asked, tightening his bandage on his hand.  
The nurse was unsure what to say,  
“I will take you to her but, you won’t be able to go into her.” She said, leading him through the ward of sleeping patients,  
As they got to one of private rooms, Chris looked through the window and saw Nakila surrounded by wires, bandages and machines. She seemed to be on life-support as a mask covered her mouth.  
“Oh.” Chris continued to look at her through the window, thinking about what had happened to her,  
“She’s a little touch and go so she will not receive any more visitors until she is a little more stable.”  
“Oh alright.” Chris replied,   
“Her parents have come to see her so they may be still around. If your manager needs to talk to them…”  she said, and then noticed Chris’ hand. “Is everything okay sir?”  
“Yes, everything is fine.” Chris said, holding it closer, hiding it from her,   
“Well, okay,” the nurse replied, then smiled “have a safe journey back.”  
“I will try.”

By the time Chris had returned, Craig was asleep on the sofa. He had obviously heard Chris leave and watched TV until he came back.  As Chris locked the door, Craig began to stir.  
“Chrissy?” Craig yawned and rubbed his eyes,  
“Yes.” Chris replied, sitting beside him,  
“Where did you go?”  
“Erm, to see Nakila.” Chris replied, holding his injury as it stung.   
“Chrissy.” Craig said, seeming annoyed,  
“I just wanted to see if she was okay. It was eating at me.” Chris said, holding his hand close to him,   
“Im surprised you could drive yourself there with that,.”  
“Yeah, same.”  
Craig examined Chris’ expressions, he seemed tired and in pain again.   
“Well, now you need to sleep.”  
“No, I feel fine.”  
“Please. Just do it. For mine and Nakila’s sake.” Craig snapped, knowing how awkward he could be.

Chris sighed and went to bed.  
Before he slept, he checked his messages on his phone. The newest was from Doug, saying that the auditions would be invited back to the studio once Nakila had recovered.  Chris sighed deeply and lay back on his bed. What was Doug doing?  



	9. Chapter 9

After standing a while in the rehearsal group, being unable to think about Nakila last night, he felt strange. He felt very strange as he thought about the recording night in two days’ time. He didn’t feel the usual ‘oh I’m tired’; this one was different. The sheer thought of those girls coming back into the studio to watch their performances scared him to death. He saw what they did to Nakila, so what could they do to _him_ if they had the chance? Doug said he didn’t really have a choice about inviting them, but surely he could have said something to the girls to put them off or bring them a different day.   
His hands began to feel more tingly than usual. As he read his lines, he felt his mouth becoming harder to form words. He recognised this feeling and became instantly worried,   
‘ _No, not now. Please, I’ve caused them enough pain.’_ Chris began to breathe in sharper to hide the fact that he knew a panic attack was going to happen soon. He continued to say his lines as Craig and Dan were watching him closely.  
After the sequence of dialog, Chris realised had to get out of there. He couldn’t have an attack in here; with his problems, an attack wasn’t just heavy hyperventilation but involuntary contractions which could get violent. The only person he knew how bad they could get was Craig. Dan had seen one once before, but not as its worst.  
Chris tried to think of a way out. Dan and Craig continued to look at him, trying to figure what was wrong with him.  
“Richard I…” Chris managed to say, clenching his left hand tightly, trying to keep any shakes and twitches of his body under control. ****  
“Yes Chris?” Richard replied, reading through the set directions with one of the floor staff.  
“I, erm, I need some air.” Chris said, thinking of an excuse on the spot,   
“Okay, take some, come back soon though, we need to rehearse this.” Richard said, being surprisingly considerate of Chris needing to take it.   
Chris walked out of the studio fairly normally, inhaling deeply to keep the attack down. Craig and Dan watched him leave, Chris knowing this.   
By the time he got into the corridor, his chest hurt and his breathing had increased.   
Chris knew he couldn’t keep the attack off for long. He managed to get himself outside into the carpark. The air didn’t help, in fact, it made him feel worse. The coldness of the air had shocked him a little and he was scared of someone seeing him. He knew this one would be bad.   
He leaned against the wall and tried to calm himself down by breathing deeply, but knew it was going to happen. His mouth felt odd, like he couldn’t talk. He took in the cold air and tried to lower his pounding heart rate. He tried saying words, but they became harder and harder to say.   
Then, he heard someone come outside. He was scared it was Doug or Richard coming to check on him. They didn’t, and wouldn’t, understand or recognise how he was feeling and just ask him to go back inside and continue with rehersals. Chris held his breath, trying to think of a suitable explanation as to why he was out here hyperventilating. Heat?    
“Chrissy? You out here?” a familiar voice called,   
‘ _Thank god, its Craig,’_ he breathed out again, gasping. _  
_ “Chris, whats wrong?” Craig asked, placing a hand on Chris’ arm.  
Chris couldn’t speak, his breathing began to overtake his speech and he couldn’t form words. He gripped the wall tightly and just breathed. He breathed through his nose as when he opened his mouth, it trembled involuntarily.  
“Jeez, you look so pale.” Craig said and examined his body language closely. Recognising what was happening, he grabbed Chris’s arm and put it around him, “You aren’t staying out here, I’m taking you to a green room, come on.”  
Craig put one arm around him and lead him through to one of the green rooms nearby the studio where they were rehearsing. That way, the others wouldn’t take long to get there if he needed them.   
As Chris sat down on one of the comfier seats, he placed his head in his hands and breathed heavily. It wasn’t even at its peak, but his body felt electrified. His hands shook a little as his condition was making things worse. He looked over at Craig who was deep in thought,   
“Just stay here, I’m getting Dan.” He said, going for the door,  
Chris managed to form a sentence, “No…stay…here…with….me…..please….”  
Craig came back from the door and sat beside him. Chris was shaking so much and his breathing was very rapid.   
“Anything I can do?” Craig asked, placing a hand on his back, rubbing it slightly to comfort him,  
“No.” he breathed ‘ _If I’m gone long enough, they will worry and come looking.’_  
“Want me to text Dan to come n help? No one is rehearsing at the moment so...”  
Chris nodded, concentrating on trying to calm down, although he didn’t see much point as he knew the climax would come soon enough.  
As Craig texted Dan fairly quickly, Chris began to worry. The fact that Dan and Robert hadn’t seen a bad attack would probably mean they wouldn’t know what to do. What if they too panicked and had to be dealt with in the same way?  
“Need anything?” Craig asked, placing a hand on his back. The last time Chris had attacked he needed water or some form of medication to help with it.   
Chris simply shook his head and groaned as the pain in his hands got worse.  
Craig continued to place an arm around him, watching and feeling him as he contracted and shivered. He was so worried about him. His TD was making the contractions 10 times worse.   
After a few minutes, Dan came into the room.  
“What’s..” Dan said before he too recognised what was going on.  
Dan ran over to where Craig was and they spoke quietly to one another,  
“How longs he been like this?”  
“About 15 minutes now, I think,”  
“Hmm,” Dan whispered to Craig and glanced at Chris; watching as he shook involuntarily, breathing too quickly,  
Chris whimpered at how bad this attack was getting, he thought it wouldn’t be as major this, and it was only going to get worse.  
“Well, what can we do?” Craig whispered, “I’m no good at this stuff.”  
“Just calm down, if we lie him down, that will prevent him from falling if he passes out.”  
Dan said, kneeling besides Chris. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply,  
“Chris, can we lie you down, we think it will help? Will it?”  
Chris nodded and lay himself down, still trembling,  
Craig and Dan looked at him sadly, not knowing what to do.   
‘ _What, I can’t pass out from this, can I?!’  
_ “Well, we will just have to wait it out with him.” Craig said, kneeling down besides Chris,  
“If it fades out.” Dan whispered, worried as to how bad it was getting,   
Chris watched them both, breathing in quickly and shivering with electricity, he wanted to tell them so much, ask them so many questions. He groaned with pain as the shivering got worse, feeling like it was burning his nerves,  
“Man, is there anything we can do to ease it?”  
Chris shook his head and felt dissociated. He felt as if the body he was in wasn't his. He came in and out of the body frequently. He didn’t feel human. Craig placed a hand on Chris’ chest, his heartbeat was racing so much and the shivers were getting worse.  
“Hold on Chrissy. It will go. Just try ‘n’ calm yourself down.”  
Chris moaned with pain again, trying to keep himself quiet from any people that may be passing. Man, why did this have to happen now?  
Robert then came in the room,   
“Is everything okay?” Bob asked, seeming surprised to find the other two surrounding Chris,   
“Not really.” Dan said and told Bob what was happening,  
‘ _Shit, don’t tell Bob, he will tell Doug.’  
_ Bob came over to Chris and looked at him, “Should I get Doug for you?”  
‘ _No! Please!’_ Chris wanted to scream, but couldn’t. He moaned and lay his head to the side to look at Craig,   
“Look, we’re going to have to, this is the worst you’ve had and we don’t know what to do with you. We’re scared.”  
“No…” Chris moaned, crying slightly, his chest killing him and aching, dissociation happening more frequently.  
Craig placed a hand on Chris’ forehead, “Ssh, Doug won’t make fun, he will most likely tell us to get the medic or something and put you back into your room.”  
Chris panted even more, his feet feeling more electric now, ‘ _God not this..’_  
He groaned in pain again, it was getting worse, Craig was right, and getting Doug was probably the best thing.  
It was 10 minutes before Doug came in.  
“Chris, you okay?” Doug asked, crowding him,  
“He’s not Doug, he really isn’t.” Craig said, stroking Chris’ forehead to try and calm him  
“What is it? Illness? Richard told me he needed air.”  
“No Doug, a panic attack. And it’s the worst one he’s had in a long time.”  
“Right. Well, what can we do then?”  
“I was planning on taking him back to his room to calm him down.”  
“Alright, we will continue rehearsals later then, I will tell Richard.” Doug said, looking at Chris shivering,  
“You sure taking him to his room is a good idea?” Bob said, looking at Chris as his legs were tensing so much.  
Craig knelt beside Chris, realising his tensing was worsening. “Can you walk? How do your legs feel?”  
Chris shook his head and groaned in pain, a little louder than before.  
“Man, what can we do?”  
“I’m calling an ambulance guys, we can’t control this.” Doug said, getting his phone out of his pocket,   
The boys sighed, realising that that was the best thing they could do.

 

Craig anxiously waited outside the hospital for news on Chris. As he smoked, he remembered how bad he was in that green room; convulsing and groaning.  A male doctor came to the door and beckoned Craig to come inside. He put out his cigarette, inhaling the last few wisps of smoke, and went back inside the ward to check on him.   
The doctor met Craig at the door.  
“So, how is he?” Craig asked him as they walked  
“Better than when he came in. We had to tranquilise him though. His medication should have helped reduce the attack but from what we know, he didn’t have any in his system.”  
“Well I’ve been looking after him and trying to make him medicate himself, so it’s my fault he hasn’t taken it.”  
“No it isn’t, it's his own but….”  
The doctor showed Craig where Chris was. “Be careful with him Craig. He’s still fragile.”  
“How you feel now?” Craig asked Chris. He was lying in bed, seeming alright and looked almost completely healthy  
“Exhausted, light headed, sick, although that’s normal after an attack like that.”Chris said, breathing slightly deeply, looking at his hand which had been taken from its bandage  
Craig sat on the edge of Chris’ bed, “So, still worried about Nakila?”  
“Yeah.”  
Craig had an idea; he knew that virtually all the injuries which happened at Pinewood always came to his hospital.   
“Is she here chrissy?”  
Chris nodded, “Yeah. I came to see her after she was brought here. She is here alright.”  
Then, Craig decided to bring up the medication situation,   
“You know why you had an attack, right?”  
“Because I panicked about Nakila.”  
“No, well yes, also because you hadn’t taken your medication for about 5 months,”  
Chris sighed, “Well.”  
“Why didn’t you take it? You told me you did? In fact, you told everyone you did.”  
“I, I don’t know.”  
“That’s the reason it was so bad. If you took your meds, we would have controlled it better and you wouldn’t have had to come here.”  
“I know. I just, was stupid. I’m sorry.”  
Craig came closer to him, “You promise you will take it from now on?”  
Chris nodded.  
“If we see 

Nakila, will that help?”  
Chris nodded again and tried to get up,  
Craig went over to the doctor and asked if they could visit another patient.   
The doctor observed Chris and they then went to go and see Nakila.  
Chris lead the way to the ICU to where Nakila’s room was. A nurse was waiting outside with a clip board.  
“Sir, you’re here to see Nakila?” The nurse asked Chris, recognising him.   
“Yes. Is she okay?” Chris said, Craig trailing behind,  
“Well, she became stable in the night.” The nurse said, allowing Chris and Craig into the room.  
“Oh man.” Craig said, looking at the wires and bandages covering her.  
“She’s still not right, but, she may be able to hear you if you speak to her.”  
Chris sat on a chair next to Nakila and looked at her. She stirred a little and opened her eyes.   
As she saw Chris, she smiled slightly, mask covering her mouth a little.   
“Hey, you erm, ok?”Chris asked, worried about her, she certainly seemed a lot better.  
Nakila nodded and continued to look at him, bein unable to speak.   
“You seem a little better.” Chris smiled, looking at her left arm. His name was still etched there lightly. He sighed, remembering what had happened.   
Nakila nodded and seemed frustrated over something,  
“Nakila, what is it?” He asked, the nurse coming over to her.  
Nakila couldn’t answer, but seemed uncomfortable, moving her legs and arms   
“Nakila, you cant move your arms just yet hun.” The nurse said,   
Nakila sighed and looked at Chris still.  
Chris didn’t know what to say, “Well, we’re alrigjt for now. You focus on getting better okay?”  
Nakila nodded and sighed again, like she wanted to say something.  
Chris and craig both left, feeling useless at the fact they couldn’t do anything for Nakila.  
  
 >>>>>>


	10. Chapter 10

It had been several months since Nakila had been admitted into hospital; Chris seeing her when he could to reassure himself that she was still alive. She had been awake for a while, but often relapsed into periods of unconsciousness.  Craig had been to see her once without Chris and he had sensed she had got better; talking a lot more and trying to use her hands but being unable to. Aleks didn’t mind Chris seeing her occasionally if he gave attention to her also.

Today, Nakila was coming back to film. Chris and Craig had been told specifically as they were the two that would be looking after her on set, the other being Dianne, the female helping her with personal care if necessary.

Craig sat at the tables reading through his script, noticing Chris’ anxiety. He looked at his watch and phone, wanting time to pass quickly. Craig knew how much she meant to him so he understood his actions. But there seemed to be something else; over this past few weeks (not long after Chris’ panic attack), he had noticed that Richard and Chris seemed to be talking a lot more often; Chris seeming stressed after and not talking to Craig the rest of the evening. This reminded him of past times when Chris and Doug would argue and shuddered at the thought.   
“Chris?” Richard asked, everyone else around him being busy,  
“Yes?”  
“Come here a second.” He said, beckoning him,  
Chris walked over, having an idea what it was about, “Yes?”  
“You seem nervous?”  
“Yes.”   
“Is it because Nakila is coming back?”  
Chris nodded, “But, not just that.”  
Richard took Chris into one of the green rooms, meaning that Craig or any other cast member couldn’t hear what they were saying. Craig wanted to go and listen, but decided not to. They need privacy as much as he did. Plus, he had a script to rehearse.   
After an hour of talking, Chris came back into the studio, seeming somewhat angered and anxious. Craig took the opportunity to speak with him and sat with him on the bunk beds.   
“What’s happened?” Craig asked,   
“Nothing.”  
“No come off it. Something did.”  
“Well,” Chris began, looking around them, “It’s something about Nakila?”  
“What about her?”   
“She’s coming back but... on Friday, something is going to happen.”  
“What? What you mean?”  
Chris then became very reserved, closing his body language, “I, I can’t say.”  
“Come on.”  
“No.” Chris said, walking from the bunks to rehearse on his own.

Richard had decided to call a group rehearsal of some of the scenes, to ensure everyone had a fair idea of positions and sets. Chris had been on his own for 2 hours, not talking with anyone. Something had obviously riled him. They went through lines, Dan and Robert having a small joke as they read them. Craig was distracted by Chris, especially as he was becoming secluded. As they were nearing the end of the scene, the studio doors behind opened and Sally walked in. Chris watched as Sally brought someone with her.   
“Hey, Nakila’s alive!” Dan said, Robert smiling also.  
Nakila was in some form of gown, covered by her coat. She looked ill but that was apparently due to the cold. She walked over to Chris, hugging him. Chris hugged back, smiling. All the group joined in, realising what had happened to her.  
“How are you?” Richard asked, smiling,  
“Better thanks.” She smiled back, letting go of Chris.   
She was smiling, actually smiling. Craig had seen her once smile, but soon returned to sadness.  
“We’re happy you’re back.” Craig said, noting Chris had changed mood.   
“Thanks.” She said, returning a smile to him,  
“Well, I guess we best carry on with the scene later, we have a cast member to welcome.” Richard said, the camera men and floor crew walking off with him.  
 The five of them sat around the cast tables, Nakila seeming very nervous; Chris sitting near her to protect her.   
“So, how are you feeling now?” Robert asked, sipping his coffee,  
“Fine. Much better than last time I was here.” She smiled, taking off her coat, the gown showing underneath her short-sleeved shirt. Two dark red scars went down her arms; very noticeable. She sighed as she knew they’d all noticed.   
“Im just, worried how my arms will be.” She became saddened and glanced at them. They _were_ noticeable.   
“Well, im sure Doug won’t make them too obvious.” Chris said, knowing what it was like to try and hide them.   
“I hope not. Its bad enough not being here to film when you needed me and being the new girl, without everyone paying more attention to my arms than my acting. Plus, there’ll be all the questions about how I _survived the worst attack ever_ and…”   
“Im sure they won’t pay too much attention to you.” Craig joined in,  
“Really?” Nakila asked,  
“Yeah, your acting should be good enough to make them forget that.”  
“Yeah, you will be fine.”  Chris smiled, putting a hand on her back.   
She smiled at him, holding her hands together tight.   
Sally then walked over to the group, “I’m afraid Nakila must come with me now boys.”  
Nakila got up, the others watching her leave,   
“Well, she’s something, isn’t she?” Dan asked,   
“Yes.” Chris said, having something on his mind,  
“I’m sure she’s good. She seems to like you.”  
“Well, I mean, I did help her somewhat but...”  
Craig then jumped in again, “Yeah. Well, we best get rehearsing.”


	11. Chapter 11

After Nakila had been dressed, she came back into the studio and was given her script for the first time. She smiled at it and found the scene they were on. The four of them plus Richard watched her carefully as she found it.   
“Right want to start?” Richard said, looking over at Craig.   
“Alright.” Craig said and said his line.   
As the others joined in, Nakila was reading her lines. As it was her turn, the way she said the line sounded almost as if she was angry and upset.   
They looked over at her when she stopped mid-sentence. Without warning, she walked out of the studio quickly.   
Chris had an idea why; the line was about friends and bullying. She had been bullied severely, so it obviously hurt her.   
“Where’s she gone now?” Richard said, annoyed she’d left,   
“I’ll erm, go and find her. Its probably nothing.” Chris said to Richard, hoping she was okay.  
“Alright, just, don’t be too long. I want to get this scene done today.”  
  
Chris found Nakila sitting in the green room with her knees close to her chest. Not seeing her face, Chris knew that she was upset from the line.  He sat beside her, knowing she already noticed he was there even with her head covered.   
“Whats wrong?” Chris asked her, hoping she wouldn’t lie and say she was ‘fine’,  
“Nothing.” She replied, monotone, her breathing trembling almost as if she wanted to cry, “Nothing at all.”  
“No, there’s something wrong Nakila.”  
She paused, “No…”  
“Well, I will go then.” Chris said, jesting; not really wanting to leave her,  
“No…” She said, holding her arm out to him. Chris examined her body language; she was upset and her arm seemed to be giving her pain, “please don’t go, you’re the only one left,”  
Chris returned beside her, “Well, tell me what’s wrong?”  
“I don’t...feel...apart of anything anymore. I feel like no one wants me around,” She sighed and cried a little, playing with her fingers nervously.   
“How come? We try and involve you?”  
“Well, before I came here, I announced to everyone I was out of hospital but, no one said anything. I…I have no one. I belong nowhere...I…”   
“Well, you **do** belong here.” Chris said firmly,  “What makes you say that?”  
“Well, you guys are old enough to be my parents.”  
“Well, we try and include you but sometimes it's erm, difficult to. Especially as you are female.” Chris said, unsure of whether this was helping,  
Nakila went silent and continued to look at her arms. They still seemed very red and sore. She touched them and stroked them, almost as if she wanted pain.  
“Well, I’ve felt like you do before.” Chris admitted, seeming to find some comfort in her,  
Nakila listened attentively, gaining a little closer,   
Chris decided to continue, “When Dan and Robert and Craig all have conversations with each other, like the day you began auditioning, I felt out of it. When Hattie was here, she’d include me and true, I am included but,”  
“Not as much as the others.  I know.” Nakila said, sighing , “I’ve felt like this most of the time.”  
Chris looked  at her and felt somewhat comforted, “You seem to be very much like me.”  
“How?”  
“Well, I mean youve been left alone and are quiet. You’ve been attacked for what you are and…”   
Nakila waited for the answer, but Chris felt too nervous to say it, he was protecting himself. He didn’t want to say too much to her; he hadn’t quite clocked her personality or whether or not she would tell the rest of the fans about this.  
“Well, erm, I heard rumours that you apparently harm yourself so…” Nakila said, sighing, expecting him to ask how she knew,   
“Erm,, well…” He said, TD becoming worse for a second; he wondered how she knew but didnt want to say. Maybe she’d recognised it some how.  
Chris exhaled deeply, “Why do I feel like you somewhat understand me better than others do?”   
Nakila sighed, “Yes I think I may. I guess we are somewhat similar.”  
“Even though you’ve only been here a short time, you understand me a little better than they do.”  
There was a short period of silence as the two of them thought.   
Chris looked at Nakila’s arms; he noticed they looked sore and looked as though were weeping. Nakila touched them and grimaced slightly.  
“Are you alright?” Chris asked, not one for blood.  
“No...not really.”   
As she took off the tunic around her, she could see that they had been weeping a while,  
“Right, I will get Sally to help bandage your arms.” Chris said, determined and got up quickly,   
“Okay.”  
As sally entered the room, Chris watched Nakila closely. She seemed to like this attention and talking to him had really calmed her down. Chris began to find comfort in her. True she was obviously still young, but her manner and understanding had made him feel somewhat loved.   
After Sally had finished, she smiled at Nakila. Nakila smiled back,   
“Ready to go and rehearse?” Chris asked, getting up,  
“I guess so.”  
“Still feeling eugh?”  
Nakila smiled at the sound effect, “Yeah,”  
“Come on, we both feel the same then.”

“Come on you two, you’re needed for this bit.” Craig said, smiling at Nakila as walked passed.  
As they got into position, it was obvious that Nakila was better than she was a few minutes ago.  
“what was up?” Craig asked, standing beside Chris as they read the script briefly,  
“Nothing really. I guess just getting home sick.” Chris said, memorising his line.   
“Oh.” Craig said, not asking anymore questions.

The four of them had acted with Nakila most of the day; each impressed with her progress as an amateur. They were all curious how she would be the filming night; she still had a lot to learn.   
Now it was evening; Chris and Craig returning to their room. Nakila was in her own room nearby.  
Chris woke up, hearing something in the room next door. He knew who it was and got up and dressed. He thought this might happen; post-traumatic stress most likely to happen.   
He knocked on Craig’s door, but he was awake too.  
“Who is that?”   
“Nakila.” Chris said, grabbing a torch,   
“Where you going?”   
“To help her.”  
“Why?”  
“Craig, these nightmares may scare her. You forget she was here when she was attacked.”  
Craig remembered what he had heard about the attack, “But, what if she cant sleep?”  
“We will cross that bridge when we come to it.” Chris said, unsure what to do. He couldn’t bring her to their room, could he?  
“She’s not your responsibility you know.” Craig shouted before he left.   


Chris knocked on Nakila’s door, but she didn’t come and answer. He found her door key in his pocket (given a copy to unlock her room when she first came here) and got in. She was shouting, crying, sounding as if she was shivering; she wasn’t awake.    
He walked into her room and turned on her light; what he thought was right. She sat up in bed crying and shivering, she seemed very pale.  
“Nakila?”  
Nakila looked up and cried more, awake now.  
“Shh its alright, it’s okay.” Chris said, sitting with her a moment. He looked around her room; almost the same as her old room.

Nakila hugged him, unsure at first but had to.  Chris held her close and rubbed her back, worried about what he could do with her. Her shivers were worse than before.   
“Shh now. It’s alright, I’m here now.”  
“It seemed so real.”  
“That’s PTSD for you.” Chris admitted, rubbing her back still,  
She calmed down but whimpered and sniffled still, her hands were still shaking badly.  
He now how to decide what to do about Nakila. He didn’t want to leave her but it would be strange if he was with her.   
He got up, Nakila still shivering.   
“Right, I will go a minute and call Dianne and tell her how you are. I don’t like this.” Chris said and went to go,  
“Okay.” Nakila breathed, shivering still.

“What’s going on?” Craig asked waiting by the sink, holding a glass in his hand  
“I’ve got to call Dianne.”  
“What’s happened?” Craig asked again,  
“Nakila’s not good. PTSD and possibly a panic attack.” He said, finding Dianne’s number.  
“It’s 2am, you think she will be awake?” Craig asked, yawning,  
“Well what else can I do? If she’s not in her room then it will be suspicious no?”  
“But you can’t stay with her, you’ve got meds to take.”  
Chris sighed, hanging up. She wasn’t responding.   
“I will bring her here. She can sleep on the sofa for now. I will call Dianne in the morning.”  
“No, I will.” Craig said, “In the morning you will be asleep.”  
“But…”  
“Trust me. You go get her, I got this.”

“Hey Nakila.” Chris said calmly, walking in. She was wimpering in bed, holding the covers in her hand.   
“Hi.” She said, not looking at him.  
“Erm, we’re considering taking you back to ours.”  
“Your room?” Nakila asked, turning to him,  
“Yes. Well, we’ll both be there so you wlll be reassured nothing will happen to you.”  
“Oh. Is erm, that acceptable?” Nakila asked, unsire, knowing people may get the wrong idea.  
“well, I’ve not spoken to Dianne but we will tell her when we can.”  
“Alright.” Nakila said, following Chris into his room.  
Craig was there when she came in,  
“God you look awful.”  
“Thanks Craig for making her welcome.” Chris said sarcastically, leading Nakila to the sofa. She sat there, head in hands, still shivering,  
“What will you do?” Nakila asked,   
“We will tell Dianne where you are when we can.”   
“Won’t I be in trouble?” Nakila asked, shivers getting worse.  
“Just don’t worry.” Chris said, getting tired,  
“Hmm.”  
“You just sleep yeah?” Craig said, sitting with Nakila and Chris went to bed.


	12. Chapter 12

Nakila and Chris decided to come out of the set together so they both wouldn't feel as anxious. Although the audience had never been introduced to Nakila’s character yet, they would figure out soon enough her significance. It also made it easier for the compere to call them out; Nakila not having an actual stage name yet or even a proper agency.   
They walked in time with each other and saluted to the audience, smiling to each other after. The audience applauded, giving Chris time to examine the audience. There was a mixture of young and older people; a good mix. He glanced over at Nakila to see how she was coping. She seemed to have frozen on the spot, clenching her right hand tightly (away from view of the audience) and giving no expression.   
‘ _She’s scared of something’_ Chris recognised, looking for the source of fear.   
 He didn't have to look far; Rebecca, Beth and Caprice were sitting at the front of the audience seeming to be staring at her. ‘ _Why the hell are they here?’_ Then he remembered Doug had invited them, much to Chris’ disagreement. Doug said he had to invite them; Chris had protested but he said he had to.  
The compère came over to Chris and asked him few questions. As Chris answered (short and normally as possible), he watched Nakila closely. She looked at him as if she wanted to leave but kept a smile on for the audience. Rebecca seemed to be jeering her as Chris spoke. After he had answered the questions he thanked the audience and then went with Nakila backstage.   
“They’re here.” Nakila said, trying not to cry.  
“I know. I saw them. And at the front too. You’d think he’d have had the decency to have put them further back.” Chris looked back over at the audience as Craig went up.   
“But, why? Doesn’t Doug know they hurt me?”  
“He does but...” Chris sighed, “I guess he had to invite them.”  
“What will I do? What if they attack me again! Doesn’t Doug care about me?!” she said, trying not to panic,  
Chris knelt down to Nakila’s height, “Look, everything will be fine. There are cameras everywhere so if anything happens, which it won’t, there will be evidence.”   
Nakila smiled a little but bowed her head, “What if I get attacked like last time?”  
“We will all be here… We all know what they did to you.”  
“Okay. But, what if they erm, kill me?”  
“Well…” Chris sighed, knowing it was a possibility. The injuries they gave Nakila were only light because they didn’t have time to finish her off. “Look, just focus on the ep. Everything will be fine.”  
“Okay.” Nakila said, going over to the costume designers to get ready with her simulant costume.  
  
Nakila’s  first scene involved her getting shot in the cargo bay. It was easy for her to do; as soon as she felt the latch on the IR receptor move on her back, fall forward onto the floor. She’d practiced it so many times so there were no worries and mats were in positon so she wouldn’t hurt herself.   
Craig was given his bazookoid at the same time Chris was. Chris’ was IR so there were no bullets or anything.  Chris could see her over the other side of the set, pacing a little and seeming very nervous.  She had to get ready in her position so she could be shot.  
“She alright?” Craig asked, waiting to start, noticing Nakila’s agitation,  
“No. I don’t think she is.”  
“What’s up?”  
Chris sighed and pointed with his eyes at the three girls. They seemed to be laughing with one another loudly,  
“Them?”  
“Yes. She’s worried they’ll attack her like last time and kill her.” Chris said, preparing himself, trying to get his own nerves down,   
“Oh right.”  
“There’s not much I can do to stop them. I mean I reassured her but...”  
“She’ll be alright. Just get ready.” Craig said, waiting for their cues.

After the take, Chris watched Nakila carefully. She seemed have gotten up somewhat painfully.  Richard came over and spoke to her. She seemed to be doing okay and Richard seemed to be complimenting her and applauding her for her first take being good. Chris sighed happily and walked over to her.   
“You did well.” He said, watching closely,  
“Thanks.” She said, seeming pained slightly,  
“Something wrong?”  
“I erm, think I feel a little funny.”   
“Oh. Do you think you’re bleeding?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“We will get Dianne to check for you yeah?”  
“Well, I need to take this simulant clothing off anyway...”  
Then, Dianne came over to Nakila. “Come on, let’s get you out of that costume.”  
As Dianne began to release Nakila’s arms, Nakila winced at the air hit her arms.  
“Oh..” Dianne said, keeping the arm covers around her arms,  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Her arms have bled a little, I best go and get a bandage for her.” Dianne said, taking Nakila with her.

When Nakila had come back, she seemed happier. She would be with Chris for the majority of the next few takes, and when she wasnt being filmed she would be  back stage with the other crew.   
Dianne brought her back to Chris, “There you are. Shes better now.”  
“Oh good.” Chris said, rehearsing the scene in his head. He would have to walk with Nakila to the side of the studio (reverse of last time) and then do the next scene with her.  
He held her arm and got into position,   
“Is that alright?” He asked her, holding her arm tight but not too.  
“Yeah.” she whispered back,  
“Stop worrying.” he whispered back, “They arent able to get close.”   
Nakila didn’t answer and tried to remember her lines.   
  
As they did the scene, Nakila almost word perfect, Chris was aware he’d moved his hands down her arm. As they got into the lift part of the set, Nakila relaxed a little. Her lines were coming naturally.  
Then, the cameras paused as the others came over.  
Chris glanced at her, she seemed determined,   
As the cameras rolled again, Nakila was doing well at pretending to be hurt. When her face was revealed, helmet removed, she was acting very well. No one had fluffed up yet, it was surprising.  
When the take had ended, Robert decided to play. Nakila laughed and they all relaxed.  It was amazing him how good Nakila was at this.  
“Your arms okay?” Chris asked,  
Nakila nodded, smiling, “  
Robert continued to play with the helmet, Craig joining in. Chris realised what they were doing; they were distracting everyone from Nakila. They walked off stage for a bit as the sets were moved.  
“Did you like our little distraction?”  
“Thanks.” Nakila said, smiling,   
“It’s so those bitches don’t get you.” Dan said,   
“Thanks guys.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Contains Description of violence and blood
> 
> Thanks everyone who has stuck with this. Try and upload the next fanfiction soon!

The rest of the episode had gone well; Nakila had been almost word perfect.  She had been nervous all evening, more nervous as the evening progressed.  Chris had kept an eye on her, the girls commenting throughout the evening about her. She was doing well, ignoring them.  
As they prepared for the last scene, all five together, Chris looked over at the girls, they seemed to be giving up; preparing to leave.   
As the five of them acted and the final scene covered, Chris smiled and felt happy. They all bowed and thanked the audience.

At the end of the episode, Doug had been asked if the girls from the audition, including Nakila, could have a photo Op together, to see who else had auditioned. The audience were still around.  
They got into a group together, Caprice, Bethany and Rebecca all standing near Nakila. Chris watched as close as he could, but also had to focus on getting his stuff together. Doug wanted them all to get depressed as quickly as possible so they could go out and drink.   
The photo was taken, nothing out of the ordinary had happened. As Chris went to go, he heard Rebecca laugh loudly and  he saw Nakila drop to the floor. Chris dropped everything and raced over.   
It was obvious what had happened, the evidence sticking out of Nakila’s back; Rebecca had stabbed her. The audience all stood up and became frightened. Rebecca punched Nakila in the face before being taken away by two large doorman.  
A crowd formed around Nakila, Chris managing to get close. The other 3 watched on, staying back but close. Nakila lay on the floor, breathing deeply, clenching her hands tight.  Chris knelt by her; other crew members telling first aid and Doug what happened. The other auditioners were taken to one side.   
“I...I knew…” Nakila said, breathless.  
“It’s alright.” Chris said, cradling her head a little, “Just breathe okay?”  
“I... I can’t.” she cried, shaking a little,  
“Shh its okay.” Chris said, stroking her head, looking for Sally or Dianne. Dianne came over,  
“What happened?”  
“Rebecca got her.” Chris said, finding her wound and put pressure on, hoping it hadn’t pierced her lung.  
“Oh shit.”  
“Is Sal coming?”  
“Yeah.” She said, calling an ambulance,  
Sally as well as two other first aiders came over.  
“You alright?” She asked Chris, noticing he looked pale.  
“Yeah.” he said, trying to stay brave for Nakila.   
“Hmm.” she said, giving him a look,   
She then turned to Nakila,  
“Hey Nakila, you awake?”  
She didn’t answer, she was breathing very light,  
“Nakila?” She said, tapping her face lightly  
“Yeah…” She said, responding weakly,  
“Alright, stay awake hun.” she said, “What happened?”  
Nakila breathed in deeper, it hurting, “well, erm, Rebecca...she…”  
“Breathe a little lighter, she what hun?”  
“She stabbed me.” she cried, Chris noticing it was bleeding a little more,  
“Alright, just, stay awake.” She said.   
Then, Sally turned to Chris. He seemed very pale, almost as if he was going to pass out too,  
“Chris, go, I’ve got her.”  
“No.”  
“Yes, I don’t want to have to deal with you _and_ her. Come on. I have to put her in recovery anyway.”   
He sighed and looked at her, he didn’t want to leave her, but at the same time…  
“Okay.” he said, giving Sally Nakila’s head.  
“You go and change and whatever, I will update you.” she said, watching him go.  
Chris walked into the costume department, the other three watching him as he walked him.  
He felt a little odd, but the costume designer helped him undress anyway,   
“What’s happened?” Craig asked, the other two looking sad,  
“Nakila’s erm, well, she’s been stabbed.” Chris said, the blood on the tunic showing how much she had bled.  
“Oh god.”   
“What’s going to happen?”  
“Well, I don’t know.” he said, changing himself, the costume designer took the blooded tunic away, “All depends how she is treated. he looked at his hands, blood was still there,  
“Well, we’re all rooting for her. Where is she now?”  
“With, erm, with Sal.” Chris said, trying not to panic,  
“Hmm.” Craig came over,  “Just breathe alright? Don’t worry too much.”  
“I do.”  
“No, just, wait and see what happens.”  
  
The four boys waited in the foyer of the studio and waited for news. Doug came over, seeming sad and timid of Chris,  
“Hello there boys,”  
Chris didn’t say hello,  
“Chris…”  
“I said didn’t I? I said this would happen.”  
“We took measures,”  
“Yes, the police were here but…it was the best you could have done...” Chris couldn’t stay angry, they couldn’t have known this would happen.  
“Look, I had to invite them, I know it was wrong and I regret it but what was I meant to do?”  
Chris understood his reason, “hmm, any news?”  
“Well, she’s at hospital now. If you want to go and see her you can do.”  



End file.
